


The 22nd

by Catsby



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Probably ooc, brian and sungjin are in college tho, just in case cause i dont want anyone to get hurt, possible trigger warning for suicide/depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-12 22:56:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14737379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catsby/pseuds/Catsby
Summary: When Jae's attempt to confess his feelings to his childhood friend goes wrong, it kicks off an awful cycle that he just can't find his way out of.





	The 22nd

**Author's Note:**

> guYS check out this beautiful art my friend made for this fic on twitter!!  
> [link](https://twitter.com/jaesyx/status/999391429657935872)  
> their art is amazing!! uwu give them lots of love please!

Jae would never forget this moment. Standing on the bridge with his childhood friend, staring into his eyes, a confession on the tip of his tongue. The words that had been weighing so heavily on him for years. The words that felt like honey in his mouth, so sweet but so sticky he couldn't get them out. He was finally going to express them. Finally, he'd tell Wonpil how he felt.

But he still couldn't.

In the face of love, he backed out. He let go of Wonpil's hand, and that was it. They parted for the day with smiles, genuine from Wonpil but bittersweet from Jae, masking the hurt he felt at himself.

"Coward," he muttered over and over on his way home. He kicked a rock off the road because he couldn't kick himself, and once he got home, he punched the wall because he couldn't punch himself. The warm blankets on his bed did little to comfort him. He couldn't even bring himself to read the texts from Wonpil that buzzed his phone later that evening, his face flushing hot with shame as he remembered the look of confusion the younger man had given him before they'd separated.

That night, he fell asleep with a frown and a furrowed brow, and in his dreams, he found himself just beyond the front door of Wonpil's house. He'd been there so many times in the span of their friendship that he immediately recognized it, smiling lightly at the familiar pictures and paintings hanging on the walls. He stood there, breathing in the scent of Wonpil's mother's cooking, until something tugged at his pinky finger, drawing his gaze downward.

A red thread. His breath caught when he saw it, tied in a cute bow just below the second knuckle of his pinky. It had been put there gently, with love and care. His gaze followed the thin red string first, and then his feet followed it as well. He slowly walked up the stairs, down the hallway, and stopped at a very familiar door - the door to Wonpil's room. 

The thread was tucked between the door and the frame, and it tugged on his finger again, urging him to enter the room. He could almost feel Wonpil at the other end of the string, pulling on it and giggling. The thought made him smile, so he stepped forward. The doorknob was colder than anything he'd ever felt, but he still turned it and pushed it open. He expected Wonpil to be there, smiling at him with a video game controller in his hands, inviting him to come play along.

Rather, he found stars. A field of stars.

The tiny balls of light sparkled and swirled around in the dark open space, and when Jae took a step through the doorway, he found himself standing on nothing. The red thread stretched across the large field to a white door on the other side, and it pulled at his finger once more. This time, he hesitated, his stomach turning and flipping with nerves. The logical part of his mind was screaming at him not to take another step forward, to just turn around, go back through the doorway, and leave this dream.

But Wonpil was on the other end. Wonpil was through that door, Jae was sure of it now.

He took one step, two steps, and then slowly started on his way. He followed the Milky Way at his side, and as he walked, he ran his fingers through the river of stars. The small lights were warm and comforting, twinkling like wind chimes at his touch, tickling his fingertips and palm. The way they whirled and flowed, sliding between his fingers gently and embracing his hand - it reminded him of the way he'd held Wonpil's hand on the bridge. He'd had the same feeling then, a sense of calm and happiness, but it'd quickly gotten overwhelmed by his anxiety. Here, though, he felt no nerves, no fear. He even smiled as he held hands with the stars, something he hadn't been able to manage with Wonpil.

He wanted to, though. More than anything else, he wanted to be able to genuinely smile with Wonpil, hold his hand and laugh with him, enjoy his time with him, but his fear always weighed him down. Whenever Wonpil's fingers slid between his, he always became overwhelmed with panic, no matter how innocent the gesture might've been. He always spat out some playfully mean comment and pulled his hand away, and Wonpil always just responded with a laugh and put his hands back in his pockets.

In those moments, he wanted to grab Wonpil's arm and pull his hand back out. He wanted to feel Wonpil's hand around his again, warm and soft like these stars, but he never acted on this urge. Just because he was scared. He wasn't sure what exactly he was scared of - most likely rejection - but it was a crippling, frustrating fear that made it impossible to act on his feelings. 

If there was one thing he hated most about himself, it was this fear he carried with him whenever he was around Wonpil. He'd accepted his feelings long ago, he thought he was ready to act on them, but as soon as he stepped foot in front of Wonpil, this unending sense of dread always washed over him and ruined him. It was a part of him, some part of him, and he absolutely hated it.

The stars around him - it felt as though they could see this fear deep inside him and were trying to comfort him, even encourage him.

Just like Wonpil surely would if he knew how scared Jae was.

The blond lifted his gaze to the door at the end of the red string and took a deep breath before marching forward. He left the stars and his fears behind as he swung the door open, and the orange light that poured through the doorway nearly blinded him. He closed his eyes tight, flinching at the light, and when he opened them again, he found himself in his bed, greeting by bright morning light pooling in through the window.

He lay there for a while before rolling onto his back and lifting his hand into the air. No red thread hung from his pinky, but it almost felt as though it was there still. However, he quickly dismissed it as a mere trick of his mind and gave a low sigh before shoving the covers back and swinging his legs over the side of his bed.

Wasting no time, he jumped into his normal morning routine of getting ready for school. He grabbed his uniform from the closet before heading to the bathroom to take a shower, but when he stepped in front of the bathroom mirror, he took pause at his reflection. He was wearing a different t-shirt than the one he'd fallen asleep in. Actually, it was the t-shirt he'd worn to bed the night before last, oddly enough. He briefly considered that made he'd been sleepwalking and changed shirts somehow, but even then, he hadn't done the laundry yesterday. Surely, he couldn't have done the laundry in his sleep.

Right?

Maybe he was remembering it wrong, though. He must've worn a different shirt night before last and worn this one to bed last night instead. Yeah, that must've been it.

He gave a shake of his head before getting back into his routine, quickly hopping in the shower. He finished quickly and got dressed even quicker, the clock hanging on the wall catching his attention. No time for breakfast today, but he hadn't eaten breakfast yesterday either. Wonpil would likely scold him again if he found out, and the thought made him give a small, fond smile, his heart warming in his chest. Even though the embarrassment of his botched confession attempt still hung in the back of his mind, he couldn't deny to himself his eagerness to see Wonpil again.

Scrubbing his wet hair with a towel, he hurried back to his room and grabbed his wallet and phone from the bedside table. He slid his wallet into his pocket but kept his phone in hand, remembering how it'd been buzzing with texts before he'd fallen asleep. Even though he didn't have time to eat, he certainly had time to check whatever Wonpil had sent him, so he swiped to unlock his phone and -

There was nothing. No new texts or calls or notifications. Absolutely nothing.

He frowned, furrowing his brow at the device. It must've been some sort of glitch.

"Dammit, that sucks," he grumbled, pulling up messenger to text Wonpil. He typed out a quick question asking what he'd sent last night, along with an explanation that his phone had glitched out and deleted it all, and then hit send.

And it was in that moment that he knew something was actually wrong. The date below the text read "May 22nd," but that was yesterday's date. He distinctly remembered that yesterday was the 22nd because he had a test in one of his classes that day. The teacher had beat it into the students' heads that the test was taking place on the 22nd, so the date on his phone couldn't have been right. It must've just been part of the glitch, right? Surely that was it.

Still, he couldn't shake the heavy, dreadful feeling in the pit of his stomach, so he hurried out to the living room and snatched the remote from the coffee table. He fumbled with it in a panic for a few seconds, his breathing speeding up into rushed puffs of air, before he finally managed to flick the television on. His eyes wide, his heart pounding in his chest, he quickly changed the channel from some random variety show to the news, and in the second his eyes fell on the date in the corner of the screen, it felt as though all the air left his chest.

The 22nd.

"Hey, Jae," his roommate called from the kitchen, "you want some breakfast? Bacon and eggs, just to kind of- dude, you look like you've seen a ghost."

Jae turned his gaze over to Brian, who stood in the doorway to the kitchen. The black-haired man was staring at him with an inquisitive expression, one eyebrow quirked as he dried his hands off on a dishrag. Just like Jae, he was wearing the same clothes he'd worn yesterday. He'd cooked bacon and eggs yesterday, too.

"Wha- Brian, what, uh-" the blond stammered, blinking dumbly as he tried to find any words to expression his current confusion.

"What?" Brian asked, staring at him expectantly. "Spit it out, man, food's getting cold."

"What's the date?" Jae finally managed.

At that, Brian scoffed and walked over to his friend's side. He grabbed the blond's shoulders and turned his body to face the television, then pointed at the date in the corner. "You see this, dude? That's the date."

"Is- Is this, like, a recording or something?" Jae stuttered back, then realization set in, and he quickly laughed, "Oh - Oh, okay, I get it, man, you got me. Nice prank, yeah."

Rather than laughing along, though, Brian just stared at him as if he'd lost his mind, putting his hands on his hips. "Dude, why would I record the news? And what the hell are you talking about, a prank? You think I've got time for pranks? I've got finals in a week," he shot back. He playfully nudged Jae's side with his elbow before turning to head back into the kitchen, adding over his shoulder, "Just come eat breakfast before you go to school."

Jae stared after his friend, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. This had to all be a prank, right? Brian had sneaked into his room, deleted the texts Wonpil had sent him, and set back the clock on his phone, just to see him have this kind of reaction - this panic. That had to be it, there was no other explanation. He turned his wide-eyed gaze back to the date on the television, pressing up a button to pull up the info for the news.

It wasn't a recording. This was today's news.

Why could he remember the 22nd so clearly then if it hadn't even happened yet? He remembered sitting in class and taking the test. He remembered going out to lunch with Wonpil and Dowoon at that new cafe downtown. He remembered leaving school and going on a walk with Wonpil, and then it happened.

The bridge. His confession. Wonpil's hand in his. Wonpil's big brown eyes staring at him curiously. The smile Wonpil gave when they parted ways with their friendship still intact and still just that - a friendship, nothing more. His failed confession happened yesterday, the 22nd, but today was the 22nd as well. So that meant - 

He felt a light tug at his pinky finger as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He quickly took it out to find a text from Wonpil. A confused emoji, followed by the words, 'We were talking about that new video game, remember?'

He definitely remembered. Wonpil was so excited about that game, he'd texted Jae for hours about it on the night of the 21st. He stood there, thumbs hesitating over the screen, before he texted back, 'Oh yeah, when did you wanna play that?'

The reply came quick, 'Maybe this saturday! This is gonna be a hard week of school, so it'll be nice to relax with a game!'

Jae smiled lightly at that. Before he could reply, though, another text from Wonpil made his phone buzz in his hands.

'Are you still at home btw? You're going to be late...'

"Fuck," he breathed out, then shoved his phone in his pocket and grabbed his bag off the couch. He ran to the door, calling over his shoulder as he slipped his shoes on, "Thanks for breakfast, Brian!"

"What?! You didn't even eat, you little-"

He ran outside and started sprinting in the direction of the high school. He'd followed this route many times, racing against the clock desperately to avoid getting a tardy, but he'd never felt this _happy_ while running it before. If it was true that today was a repeat of yesterday, then he had a second chance. He could stand on that bridge again and admit his feelings to Wonpil. Finally.

He wasn't sure why he, out of all people, got a second chance, but he was going to take it. He was going to take it and run with it, run as fast as he could away from his past fears and anxieties, his feet beating so hard against the road that he feared his heels would be bruised tomorrow. His lungs ached and his heart pounded in his chest, but it was okay.

The universe had allowed this, the stars had given their encouragement, and the string around his pinky felt tighter than before. Jae didn't believe in fate, but if he had to guess, that's what this was. Fate or destiny or whatever people wanted to call it, Jae didn't care what its name was, he was just thankful to it. Whatever it was, it was having mercy on him and his love.

So why were Wonpil and Dowoon holding hands at lunch?

Why were they kissing under the tree the three of them met under everyday?

And why did Wonpil have to share the good news with Jae?

"We're dating," the brunet said with a warm smile, eyes shining like the stars from Jae's dream. "We wanted to wait until we were able to tell you together, otherwise I would've just told you in class."

"Ah," Jae said.

"Yeah, Dowoon asked me out this morning actually," Wonpil said with a giggle. He and his boyfriend shared one of the most loving looks Jae had ever seen two people exchange. "We ran into each other on the way to school, and he confessed behind the gym like an anime or something. Isn't that sweet?"

"Yeah," Jae said. The red thread felt slack around his pinky. "Are we- Are we going to the cafe today? I mean, all three of us?"

"Oh, we still can!" Wonpil replied, eyebrows raised with a smile on his face. The cute expression made Jae's heart ache painfully in his chest. "I think you'll really like their coffee, it's delicious."

"You've been there already?" Jae asked, struggling to keep his voice as strong as he could. It felt as though his knees were about to give out under him, like he was about to fall and crumble like the world around him.

Wonpil seemed to hesitate a moment before replying, "Yeah, Dowoon and I went yesterday evening. It's a really nice place, their cookies are delicious."

"Their cake is good, too," Dowoon added kindly, but Jae nearly snapped at him to shut up, nearly told him he didn't give a shit what he thought about their cake.

Instead, though, the blond bit his tongue, and merely nodded his head, barely managing to get out a weak reply of, "I like cake."

Cue another heartbreakingly adorable giggle from Wonpil, "I know you do, Jae."

Fuck fate, fuck destiny, fuck whatever it was. This wasn't nice, this wasn't mercy or generous or anything like he'd thought. This was just _cruel_. With every word from Wonpil's mouth, Jae felt his heart chip away more and more, and with every word from Dowoon's mouth, Jae felt his rage build bit by bit. He clenched his fists under their table in the small cafe, squeezing as tight as he could until his knuckles were white and his fingernails bit into his palms. Those words that had weighed so heavy in his mouth were forgotten now, thanks to the sight of the lovey-dovey couple sitting across from him.

He hated this, but he probably hated himself even more. He realized he should be happy for Wonpil, and under normal circumstances he would've been(or he would've at least acted like it). However, being led to believe he had another chance and then having that chance suddenly snatched out from under his feet like a rug, of course he was going to be hurt and pissed off. Fate must've known that, right? The stars must've known, with the way they teased him into believing he could confess his feelings.

Their gentle touches that felt so similar to Wonpil's - it'd been fake. All in his head.

"How ridiculous," he muttered.

"Did you say something?" Wonpil asked, blinking at his friend curiously as they walked down the sidewalk, heading home after their day at school.

Jae looked up, and he felt a sting of pain in his heart at the confused expression Wonpil was giving him when their eyes met. The sunset behind Wonpil was familiar, as it was the same one he'd been standing before when Jae had almost confessed to him. The beautiful way the fiery rays shown through the strands of Wonpil's hair made Jae's breath catch. He looked just as handsome as he did yesterday. 

"No, nothing," he replied softly, letting his gaze fall back to his feet as they walked, "Nothing you need to worry about."

And that was it. Usually, Wonpil would press Jae about this sort of stuff, but he must've picked up on his bad mood, as he was quiet for the rest of their walk. They parted at the usual intersection without a word, and before Jae knew it, he was home. It was quiet, just as it had been yesterday. Brian was likely in class now or out on a date with that Sungjin guy he'd been talking about nonstop recently. 

Jae collapsed face-first on his bed, burying his face into his pillow, and groaned loudly. That was it, wasn't it? His second chance was over, ruined, and he was in an even worse position than before. Wonpil was dating someone now. Dowoon, no less, a guy Jae couldn't even begin to compete with. Dowoon was exactly Wonpil's type, and Jae was...

Jae was Wonpil's childhood friend. That was all.

The blond curled up on his side and squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could, trying to ignore the tears pricking the corners of his eyes and the pure pain in his chest. He wanted another chance, but he knew there was no use hoping for that. This had just been a fluke in the universe, a one time thing, and he'd gotten totally screwed over with it.

His phone buzzed on the nightstand, and he ignored it, just as he'd done the night before. He'd avoided the messages out of embarrassment last time, but now he avoided them out of heartbreak. No matter what Wonpil was texting him, he couldn't bring himself to even pick up the phone. Hell, tomorrow he'd probably end up avoiding Wonpil completely, not just his texts.

Sleep came over him before he knew it, and to his surprise, he didn't even dream, not about the starry room or the red thread or anything. He simply opened his eyes, and it was suddenly morning. He didn't feel well-rested at all. If anything, he felt even more tired as the thought of spending another day in the presence of his childhood crush and his boyfriend set in. He wanted to go back to sleep and just lie there forever, never move and never have to face Wonpil again.

Where there was anger once, there was now just shame. He felt like he'd been made a fool of, like the universe was laughing at him for falling for its sick prank. Not only that, he also felt stupid for ever falling for Wonpil in the first place. Why had he thought he'd actually ever have a chance with him? He wanted to slap himself for being so naive.

There was a light knock at the door, and he gave a loud sigh, glancing over, "What is it, Brian?"

"You gotta get up, dude," his roommate called from the other side of the door. "You're gonna be late for class. Don't you have a test today or something?"

Jae squinted at the door when he heard that and called back, "What're you talking about? That was yesterday."

"Uh, no, I'm pretty sure it's today," Brian replied after a brief pause, "I remember when I helped you study. You, like, made sure I knew it was today."

"Yeah, I wanted you to help me remember, but you're a day late, man," Jae sighed loudly again, rubbing his hand over his face.

"The 22nd, right?"

Jae paused, glancing over at the door again. That same feeling of dread that he'd felt yesterday morning slowly set into the pit of his stomach as he sat up in bed. "Yeah, that was yesterday," he called back, then held his breath for Brian's reply.

"No, that's today, dude."

Jae felt his blood run cold. He quickly reached over to grab his phone off the nightstand, hands shaking so hard he barely managed to swipe open his phone and pull up the messenger. The texts he'd received last night were nowhere to be found. He scrambled to send a text to Wonpil, just a jumble of letters, and the date under the message confirmed Brian's words.

May 22nd.

He hopped out of bed and threw on his school uniform, all but hyperventilating as he rushed into the living room. Brian followed close after him, obviously very concerned and asking him all sorts of questions, but Jae couldn't hear him over the pounding of his own heart. He grabbed the remote, turned on the television, and changed the channel from a variety show to the news. Same stories, same reporter, same date.

"Holy shit," he breathed out, dropping the remote on the floor as he collapsed back onto the couch.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Brian asked as he quickly sat down beside Jae. "Are you sick or something? Why're you freaking out like this?"

"I-" Jae started but stopped himself, the words dying before they could leave his lips. What would happen if he told someone about it? What if it messed everything up? He got the feeling that the universe wouldn't like people to know it was messing around with time and space. Plus, if he went on saying that he was repeating the same day for the third time in a row, Brian would probably think he was actually crazy. So rather than out himself and the universe, he went on slowly, "I just...had a bad dream. That the world had ended or something."

Brian stared at him long and hard before just saying, "Wow."

"Yeah," Jae cleared his throat.

"Seriously, wow. All that freaking out for a dream," Brian sighed but smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder, standing up. "Come on, come eat some breakfast. I cooked-"

"Bacon and eggs," Jae said, making his friend pause.

"Yeah," Brian replied after a second. "How'd you know? Is your nose really that good?"

"I guess," was all Jae could think to say in return. He watched Brian walk back into the kitchen, then looked down when his phone buzzed in his pocket, taking it out to read the new message.

'You okay?' read the text from Wonpil, accompanied by a worried emoji. The memories from yesterday came rushing back then, and Jae bit the inside of his cheek. What would today be like? Was Wonpil dating Dowoon today as well? There were a few ways to find out, but the quickest way was right there in his hand.

Still, he hesitated, thumbs hovering over the keyboard on the screen. If he sent this message, and Wonpil said yes, what would he do? The best thing to do would be just go to school and deal with it like he had yesterday, but he honestly doubted he could handle that again. The pain had been unbearable in the moment, and even now, it still stung like a burn that he feared would never go away. 

If he were to skip school, though, what change would that bring about? That was what the universe wanted, wasn't it? That's why it was putting Jae through this for a third time - it wanted something about this day to change, and Jae couldn't bring about any sort of change by just sitting idly by.

'Are you dating Dowoon?' he texted.

The wait felt like an eternity, but Wonpil soon sent back a shocked emoji with the message, 'How did you know??'

"Fuck," Jae sighed, dropping his phone onto his lap and letting his head roll back against the couch cushions. He frowned as he stared up at the ceiling, clenching his fists at his sides. What was he meant to do in this situation? What sort of change did the universe want? Or was it just doing this to torture him?

"Jae, your food's getting cold!" Brian called from the kitchen. When he didn't get a reply, he walked over and poked his head through the doorway, and he groaned when he saw that the couch was empty. "Goddammit, Jae."

Seeing Wonpil and Dowoon together and so in love still hurt, but it wasn't as bad as the first time. At least, Jae wanted to believe it wasn't as bad as the first time. Actually, it almost hurt worse the second time around, because now he knew this was how it was going to be, and he had to get used to it. He had to smile and bear it, he had to just put up with seeing Dowoon gaze lovingly at Wonpil over a cup of coffee at the new cafe, he had to ignore the pain he felt when he saw Wonpil kiss Dowoon on the cheek several times throughout their little date.

He had to force a change, he had to force himself to be happy for them, no matter how much it hurt. No matter how much he wanted to cry when he saw them holding hands and remembered the feeling of Wonpil's fingers between his. No matter how when he looked in Wonpil's eyes looking his way, he saw those stars sparkling there again, light and happy.

If the universe wanted change, Jae would give it change.

"Do you ever think about love?" Wonpil asked suddenly as they walked home that evening, taking the very same route they'd taken the past two times. His voice was light but somehow more serious that Jae had been expecting. The words seemed to carry more weight than his usual random questions, and Jae was honestly lost for a moment as a result.

He cleared his throat, snapping out it rather quickly, and answered, "I mean, yeah. Everyone does."

"What would you do for someone you loved?" Wonpil asked without missing a beat, turning those heart-melting eyes to Jae once again. Stars still sparkled there, dancing through the dark colors like fireflies through a field of grass. 

Jae could lose himself there in those eyes, but the thought of change came back to mind. He forced himself to look away quickly, staring off to the side as he answered, "Probably anything."

"Probably?" Wonpil echoed, and his tone was a bit lighter now, slightly teasing and lilted.

Jae couldn't help but crack a smile, but he still refused to look Wonpil's way as he answered, "Yeah, I said probably."

"What if they wanted you to...jump off a bridge?"

"In that case, can't say I'd do it."

At that, Wonpil laughed and patted him on the back. The touch left a tingling warmth, and Jae felt his heart swell with love. After they parted for the evening, he couldn't help but wonder if really much had changed. Sure, he'd felt a bit happier than he had the day before, but at the end of the day, he was still in love with Wonpil, and seeing him with Dowoon still hurt. Surely this would be the last time he'd go through this.

As he lay in bed that evening and dozed off, the buzzing sound of his phone was mere background noise. He slept just a bit more peacefully that night, just deep enough to get a flashing glance of a dream. A single word lingered in his mind, dotting with stars against the background of the Milky Way.

_Look._

His eyes fluttered open, and he found himself staring out the same window into the same sunlight on the same day for the fourth time in a row. He could feel it, today was the 22nd, but something had changed. He had a message, a hint. He frowned, muttering to himself, "Look where?"

As he got dressed and left for school, leaving a very frustrated Brian and an uneaten breakfast behind, he toyed with all the possibilities of what the message from the stars could mean. What was he meant to be looking at? He must've been missing something, otherwise he wouldn't be repeating this day yet again, but what was it? Was he missing something with Wonpil or Dowoon, or was he missing something with himself? All the questions running through his mind were so distracting that he couldn't even focus on his test, completely half-assing it, but what was really the point in trying? He'd probably just be repeating this day again tomorrow.

He sat across from the couple in the small cafe, still weighing the possibilities. They were giggling together about something on Wonpil's phone, and, oddly enough, the sight of them being so happy together didn't sting him as much this time around as it had before. His mind was too busy to be as hurt this time, but his heart still ached every time Wonpil looked his way.

Maybe that was the look he needed to pay attention to - what he saw when his eyes met Wonpil's.

He stared Wonpil's way until the young man returned the look curiously, eyes wide and head tilted to one side. He asked what was wrong, but Jae didn't answer, simply gazing into his eyes.

Stars, he noted, and warmth. A chocolaty warmth that Jae could sink into and never wanted to leave. They were eyes he wanted to wake up and see every morning, eyes he wanted to look only at him, eyes he wanted to see himself reflected in.

"Are you okay?" Dowoon asked, snapping Jae out of it.

He started to answer, but when Wonpil turned to look at his boyfriend beside him, Jae noticed something else about his eyes.

There was nothing. What did that mean, for those stars to disappear when he looked at Dowoon?

"I'm fine," the blond finally answered, but neither of them bought it. They pestered him about it every chance they got for the rest of the day, even as he and Wonpil walked home together later that evening. A soft tug at his pinky caught Jae's attention, and he looked down to see Wonpil's gentle grip wrapped around his little finger. He lifted his gaze to meet Wonpil's curious, sparkling gaze, and the brunet immediately broke into a smile when their eyes met.

"You've been acting weird all day," Wonpil commented, and Jae bit back some smartass comment, instead just averting his gaze off to the side.

"I've had a lot on my mind," he replied after a few moments of deliberation.

"What have you been thinking about?" Wonpil chirped back, and based on the tone of his voice, he seemed honestly eager to know what had been going on in his best friend's head. 

It made Jae smile just a bit, but he quickly went back to frowning in thought as he considered what to say. Like he'd realized earlier with his test, he'd more than likely be repeating this day again, so he had nothing to lose. Why not just be honest?

"Love," the blond said finally. "I've been thinking about love a lot."

Wonpil was quiet for a second before asking, "Really?"

"Yeah," Jae answered, lifting his gaze to stare at the orange sunset sky overhead as they walked. "I know I said yesterday that I wouldn't jump off a bridge for the person I loved, but...honestly, I probably would."

Again, Wonpil was silent for a few beats, only speaking up again when Jae finally glanced his way. He met the quick glance with a small smile that oddly didn't quite reach his eyes, replying, "I don't remember you saying anything like that, but that's really sweet, Jae. I wasn't expecting you to say something like that, I thought you were just kidding around."

Jae gave a light scoff and nudged Wonpil with his elbow. "I can be serious sometimes, dude."

"I know," Wonpil giggled.

They approached the small three-way intersection where they usually parted, and Jae said his goodbyes quickly. He started to turn down his street, but a hand on his wrist stopped him. Wonpil's fingers were searing hot to his skin, and it jolted Jae's mind, shocking him into jerking away just a bit. The jump made Wonpil jump in turn, but before Jae could apologize, Wonpil spoke.

"Goodnight, Jae."

With those two words and a small, hollow smile, Wonpil left it at that, turning to walk away down his street.

Jae stood there at the intersection a while longer, confusion flooding his mind, before he turned to head down his street. That hadn't happened before. Then again, he'd never had that conversation with Wonpil before either. Was this the change the universe was looking for? It also had seemed like Wonpil wanted to say more than just goodnight, but what else was there for him to say? The whole thing was just weird and out of place, worryingly new to Jae.

He frowned to himself and glanced back over his shoulder as he walked.

To his surprise, Wonpil was glancing back as well. Their eyes met once again, even from the distance, and Jae's breath caught in his throat. Without warning, Wonpil took off running in the direction of his house, and Jae turned around to watch him, staring after him.

What was that about?

The interaction gnawed at Jae's mind as he took his uniform off, hung it up, and put his pajamas on. This night was identical to all the others - he was home alone, his bed was uncomfortable, and his phone buzzed furiously on the nightstand as he lay there, staring at the ceiling. The only thing that had changed was his afternoon with Wonpil, and even then, it wasn't that much. But maybe it was enough to kick him into the actual next day. He really hoped it was, he couldn't wait to just move on from May 22nd.

A particularly strong buzz from his phone got his attention, and he let out a sigh, glancing over at the device. The screen was lighting up, notifying him of yet another message, but rather than reading it, he rolled over to put his back to the nightstand and closed his eyes. He hoped to get another hint from the universe in his dreams, but it was proving much too difficult to even fall asleep tonight with all the thoughts weighing on his mind. On top of that, his phone kept buzzing.

Finally, he groaned and sat up in bed, snatching his phone off the nightstand and swiping it open. He quickly pulled up the messages, all from Wonpil, and read over them.

'Jae.'

'Jae, are you awake?'

'can you come see me?'

'i'm on the bridge right now, please come soon.'

'can you come now?'

'are you coming?'

'hey, jae.'

'jae'

'youre my star'

'i really'

Jae doubted he'd ever gotten out of bed so fast. He didn't even get dressed, instead just rushing out in his pajamas and completely barefoot. For a second, he thought he passed Brian and Sungjin on his way out the door, but he really couldn't tell who it was, his mind set on one thing and one thing only.

_Wonpil._

He dropped his phone at some point as he ran, he could hear it clatter on the road behind him. He ran so fast, so hard, that his feet were surely going to actually bruise this time, but that was okay. What wasn't okay was Wonpil. Something was wrong, Jae could feel it. It was the same sense of building dread he'd felt some many times in the past few days, but this time it was even stronger, almost to the point of suffocating. His heart hurt so bad, and the thread around his pinky was suddenly so tight that it felt like it was cutting of circulation. Something was wrong, very wrong.

His feet slipped from under him as he tried to run too fast around a corner, and he hit the ground hard with a pained yell. He didn't let it stop him, though, only letting out a small hiss as he stood back up and continued sprinting as fast as his body could carry him towards the familiar bridge. He could tell his feet and knees were bleeding, and his elbows ached from catching the brunt of his fall, but he still just kept going.

He felt so stupid. Why hadn't he seen it? He'd spent all day looking at Wonpil, so why hadn't he seen it? Why didn't he read those texts on the first day? Why didn't he just pick up his phone on the first May 22nd and answer the messages then? Why didn't he look at what Wonpil had said - at everything Wonpil had said? How could he be so damn blind?

The stars overhead shone down, watching as Jae finally approached the familiar bridge, panting so hard that he was nearly wheezing. His eyes were immediately drawn to Wonpil, who sat atop the railing of the bridge, gazing out over the river with an expression Jae couldn't quite read.

"Wonpil," he panted out, stepping onto the bridge and approaching his friend. "Wonpil, what're you doing up there?"

"You came," Wonpil said with a soft laugh, but he didn't look at him. "You really can be serious sometimes, huh?"

Jae frowned, staring at Wonpil's back. He wanted to just reach out and grab him, but something told him that likely wasn't the best idea. Instead, he stepped over to lean against the railing, trying to get a better look at Wonpil's face as he asked, "Wonpil, what's going on? Your texts, they-"

"You understand, right?" Wonpil interrupted, and his voice was weaker than Jae ever thought it could be. His heart skipped anxiously in his chest. "You understand what I meant when I said you're my star?"

"I-" Jae hesitated, scratching the back of his neck. "I think I do. Can you please just get down from there so we can-"

"You figured it out, didn't you? Why I'm dating Dowoon," Wonpil spoke slowly, his voice broken and shattered, just like the fragile mask he'd finally dropped. And yet the words had a certain edge to them, a certain pain Jae recognized as his own. However, before he could say anything in return, Wonpil continued, choking out a single question through tears.

"Would you really jump off a bridge for me?"

Jae's heart stopped. He opened his mouth but was barely able to register the words before Wonpil was falling right before his eyes, and before he knew it, he was flying over the railing after him. The last thing he saw was Wonpil smiling, red thread wrapped around his throat as he lay on a river of stars. In their last moments, Jae only saw tears and pain and love in those deep brown eyes.

There are no dreams in death, Jae discovered. Only darkness.

His eyes opened suddenly, and he let out a loud gasp as though there was still water in his lungs, sitting up in his bed and clutching at his chest desperately. He sat there, hunched over in shock, gasping for air for what felt like an eternity, before he looked to his phone. He quickly grabbed it and wasted no time in pulling up his texts with Wonpil. There was nothing from the night before. It was May 22nd again, but this was the final one he'd go through. He'd make sure of that today.

He quickly texted Wonpil, 'Meet me on the bridge. Skip class.'

The reply came quick, but he didn't read it, instead hopping up and getting dressed in his school uniform. He didn't exactly want to wear it, but it was the closest thing he could grab, so it'd just have to do. He rushed out of his room, but before he could make it to the front door, he paused, feeling Brian's gaze on the back of his head.

"You're not going to eat breakfast?" Brian asked, raising an eyebrow at Jae as the blond turned to look at him.

"Can you, uh, put some in a box for me?" Jae asked with a sheepish smile, but Brian just stared at him. He gave a sigh and glanced towards the door, hesitating before blurting out, "I'm about to go tell Wonpil that I love him."

"Oh," was all Brian said for a second. Jae was about to turn away when Brian stopped him yet again. "Take some for him too then."

Before Jae knew it, he was running down the road as fast as he could with a lunch box of eggs and bacon in hand. As he ran, he couldn't even focus on his own heartbeat or breathing. Wonpil filled his mind, pushing everything else aside. All other thoughts were gone. The thought of Wonpil hurting because of unnoticed love - because Jae hadn't seen the way he looked at him sooner, the way he spent so much more time looking at him than he did at Dowoon - it made Jae want to punch himself for not recognizing it right away. It was something that should've been so familiar to him, especially since he was going through it as well with his love for Wonpil. How the hell could he not see it sooner? Why did it take _dying_ before he could finally realize what was going on in Wonpil's head?

Why did it have to take Jae seeing Wonpil being pushed to his breaking point before he opened his eyes and actually _looked_ at him? If he hadn't seen that, though - if he'd continued to just ignore Wonpil's late night texts - if the universe hadn't bent the rules just for him...

The sight of the brunet standing on the bridge was a bigger relief to Jae than he could ever realize. Seeing him safe, almost peaceful, leaning against the railing while watching the sun rise up in the clear blue sky. The morning rays shone down on him, and it almost looked as though he glowed like the stars in Jae's dream.

"Hey," Jae said as he approached his friend, and his breath hitched when Wonpil looked over and greeted him with one of those breathtaking smiles.

"Good morning," Wonpil said casually, as if he hadn't just died the night before. Jae couldn't expect him to know what past timeloop him had done, but the sharp contrast was shocking, to say the least. "We could get in trouble, you know, skipping class on the day of a test."

"Had you already made it to school?" Jae asked, putting a playfully doubtful tone to his voice.

Wonpil smiled a bit shyly at that, playing with the hem of his shirt. "Well...no, but I was on my way. I woke up late this morning."

Recalling how Wonpil had previously scolded him for running later, Jae cracked a smile and even chuckled. Wonpil giggled in return, a sound that made Jae's heart swell with joy and love in his chest. He lowered his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck, before stepping forward.

"I-"

"What's in that box?" Wonpil interrupted with a little hand gesture and nod at the box in Jae's hand. "Is it food?"

Jae blinked a few times before giving an exaggerated sigh, "Can you not interrupt me for once? I'm trying to say something important, geez."

Wonpil giggled again before making a zipper motion over his mouth, smiling cheekily at his friend. He looked like a little kid, gaze bright and playful, hands behind his back, feet pressed together. Jae couldn't help but smile as he looked at him, breaking out of his fake scold to chuckle at the cute expression Wonpil was giving him.

Jae really loved him, more than he'd ever thought possible.

And so he said it.

"I love you."

Finally, after all the years they'd known each other, after all the May 22nds Jae had gone through, he finally said it. Those three simple words felt as though they formed themselves in his mouth, coming out smoother than the cloudless sky overhead, softer than the breeze whirling around them, warmer than the rays of the morning sun.

There were no stars in Wonpil's eyes then. Jae saw only his reflection there, and it nearly made him cry from happiness.

As he stepped forward to close the gap between them, his hand found its way to hold Wonpil's, and Wonpil returned the touch gently, the red thread pulling them together finally and wrapping around their hands, holding them there. They both smiled, gazing at each other, into each other. The love in the air between them was tangible, clear to even an outsider who had no idea what had happened to them both. It was nearly suffocating, in the best possible way.

In the face of love, Jae smiled. His lips met Wonpil's in a soft, gentle kiss sweeter than honey, and in that moment, they both felt as though they were standing among the stars.

Tomorrow was the 23rd.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! uwu  
> this is a bday gift for a good friend on twitter~~!!!  
> i hoPE ITS OKAY DJSFKLDSJ I THINK I FELL ASLEEP HALFWAY THROUGH WRITING IT  
> there are probs quite a few typos, i didnt extensively proofread it ;;;
> 
> if you want, you can follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/longerassride) uwu  
> im always lookin for friends to talk about kpop with sdkjfds


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